In 2011, Victoria Squicciarini’s husband underwent surgery at HUP for oral cancer. Today, she’s a nurse on the same unit.
By Victoria Squicciarini
It’s still difficult for me to believe that I am a nurse. Growing up, all I ever wanted to do was play the piano and I did not let the fact that I was not especially talented stop me. I worked really hard and built a successful life that I loved as a professional pianist.
Then, in 2011, my then-husband, Ted, was diagnosed with oral cancer at the age of 44. He came to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (HUP) for his third surgery, to remove part of his tongue and rebuild it with tissue from other parts of his body, and I stayed with him in the progressive care unit when he was released from intensive care.
The nurses came in every hour to check his mouth. They suctioned his tracheostomy, emptied his drains, and put medication through his feeding tube and IVs. I sat in a brown recliner watching the constant flow of nurses in and out of the room day and night.
As I watched them, all I could think was “I could never be a nurse.” I was so anxious at the prospect of having to take care of his tracheostomy and feeding tube that I thought I’d have to put him in rehab rather than bring him home.
But there was another voice inside of me saying, “I wish I could do that.”
I admired the nurses, not just for what they were doing, but for how they were being. Nothing seemed to alarm them and they knew exactly what to do in every situation. They remained calm and confident, gently encouraging me to learn how to care for Ted’s tubes and wounds.
My husband had a long recovery, but I never had to send him to rehab. Surprisingly, I realized that not only was I capable of taking care of his wounds, I actually enjoyed it. One day, I turned to him and said, “I think I want to be a nurse.” A few months later, at the age of 42, I started my pre-requisites to apply for an accelerated Bachelor of Science in nursing (BSN) program at Thomas Jefferson University.
The whole time I was in nursing school, I knew I wanted to work as a bedside nurse like the ones I had admired at HUP, but I didn’t think I could work with ear nose and throat (ENT) patients. While Ted recovered well, I didn’t know if I could handle seeing patients with less positive outcomes. But as it turned out, my last clinical rotation was on the ENT floor at Jefferson Hospital. I found myself bonding with the patients and their caregivers; I could help them because I understood what they were going through. I often told them, “This will be the hardest thing you’ve ever faced. It’s going to be harder than you think. And it will be so worth it.”
Two years after Ted’s hospital stay, in 2014, I went back to that same unit at HUP as a nurse, working alongside those who had inspired me. Things that once terrified me are part of my daily routine. But one thing has not changed: The nurses at HUP continue to inspire me each and every day. I am so incredibly honored to work alongside them and very proud to call myself a nurse.
Victoria Squicciarini, BSN, is a nurse in the ear, nose, and throat and plastic surgery progressive care unit at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (Rhoads 1). This essay was based on a story she told in the 2022 Penn Nursing Story Slam.
Are you a Penn Medicine employee with a unique path to healthcare? Email HUPdate Editor Daphne Sashin at Daphne.Sashin@pennmedicine.upenn.edu.