Every Wednesday afternoon at 4:30, give or take a few minutes, as many as 20 new or expecting parents join a video conference arranged by Princeton Health Community Wellness.
The virtual support group, moderated by internationally board certified lactation consultants Bernadette Flynn-Kelton, RN, and Carolyn Schindewolf, offers an open forum, and moms-to-be who are new to the group typically have a laundry list of questions.
What are the hospital rooms like? How is the food? What should I pack? Am I going to have to wear a mask during labor? Can my partner stay with me?
“They’re the same kind of questions they would ask on a maternity tour,” Flynn-Kelton said.
Unfortunately, maternity tours at Princeton Medical Center (PMC) have been canceled since COVID-19 hit New Jersey hard in early March, and they may not resume anytime soon. Community Wellness, which provides a comprehensive array of prenatal and postpartum education and support programs, is developing a virtual tour to post on the Princeton Health website that will give expecting parents a first-hand look at the hospital’s amenities. Meanwhile, the pregnancy and postpartum support group gives them an interactive outlet to air their questions and concerns.
Flynn-Kelton and Schindewolf are there to provide their expertise, as well as the latest information on PMC’s policies and safety precautions, and the postpartum moms on the video conference — most of whom gave birth at PMC — share the wealth of their experiences.
“We originally created two separate support groups,” Schindewolf said, “but we merged them because it was clear that the groups would benefit from interacting with each other.”
The meetings typically last an hour. Babies make frequent appearances on screen. Partners are welcome as well. The discussion is not rigidly structured. If silence drags on, which rarely happens, Schindewolf or Flynn-Kelton will ask a question to kick-start the discussion.
Postpartum mothers talk to each other about anything and everything: sleep issues; breastfeeding; teething; the best carriages and cribs; concerns about travel, returning to work, and allowing family and friends to visit during the pandemic. The support group now welcomes guest speakers to discuss topics suggested by participants. The first guest, in August, was an early childhood development specialist.
The group has helped to fill a void created not only by the lack of maternity tours but the loss of other popular in-person programs, such as Bright Beginnings, a weekly social and educational gathering for new moms, their babies, and their partners.
The support group features a core troupe of mothers who have become regular, dedicated attendees — so dedicated, in fact, that when one mom traveled to Europe, she continued to join the meetings.
One frequent attendee, Nabila Baillie, said she appreciates the virtual platform because, although she gave birth at PMC, she lives an hour’s drive away and might be unable to make in-person meetings.
Baillie and her husband, Christian, had moved from Princeton to the Toms River, N.J., area in early 2020, both to be closer to their families and to add space for their soon-to-be-growing household. Despite the move, they stuck with the plan to give birth at PMC, where Baillie’s OB/GYN was affiliated.
The Baillies’ daughter, Avery, was born seven weeks premature on March 28 and spent the first two and a half weeks of her life in PMC’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
Baillie felt unprepared for parenthood — “I thought I was going to have seven more weeks to read the baby books” — but the nurses in the NICU were very helpful. They gave her instruction on bathing and feeding Avery, and they also connected her to Schindewolf for breastfeeding support. At some point, Schindewolf mentioned the new support group. Baillie has attended regularly ever since.
“I like to hear what other moms do,” Baillie said. “I believe there is no one right way to parent. You simply need to make the right choice for you and your family.”
She also enjoys sharing her experiences with the moms-to-be. “I got advice and help from so many people. It’s nice to be able to give back.”
Another regular attendee, Kimberly Gladden, and her husband, Kevin Davis, welcomed their daughter Olivia on March 30. Gladden caught on with the Princeton Health support group thanks to her relationship with Flynn-Kelton.
Gladden lost her first baby a few years ago and attended Community Wellness’ perinatal loss bereavement support group, a monthly meeting for parents who lost babies due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.
Flynn-Kelton moderated the group, and she and Gladden have remained in touch. (Flynn-Kelton still moderates that support group, which also has been provided virtually during the COVID-19 pandemic.)
Gladden joined the support group early on, when it was still a separate group for postpartum moms and the discussion seemed to focus on questions about breastfeeding, sleep issues, and developmental milestones. Since the groups merged, the topics have broadened and Gladden feels the conversation between moms and the moms-to-be is very helpful.
“It’s good to hear their concerns and be able to share the benefit of our experiences.”
Davis, Gladden’s husband, also has gotten involved with Community Wellness, appearing in June with Olivia on a virtual version of Daddy Boot Camp, a unique educational program for first-time fathers. The class, led by “drill sergeant” Greg Barron, features discussions and demonstrations involving experienced dads and real babies.
Community Wellness began providing in-person programs again in July, notably the breastfeeding support group and various childbirth and family education classes. Some programs, such as birthing classes and Baby Care, are now provided both in person and virtually. Others, including Daddy Boot Camp and the pregnancy and postpartum support group, will be provided virtually for the foreseeable future.