In the time before the COVID-19 pandemic turned everyone’s world upside down, parents would often struggle to balance their various work and home life responsibilities.
Yet they usually enjoyed support from a range of sources — day care centers and schools, family and friends — to get through the days. They also benefited from having clearly defined roles that they typically performed separately at different locations.
Now? To quote Duke Ellington’s classic tune: Things ain’t what they used to be. Many workplaces remain closed. Schools are often operating virtually or using a hybrid of in-person and online instruction. Day care is in short supply. Social distancing is still the norm. As a result, some parents end up as teacher, parent, and home-based employee, often all at the same time.
No one can do all those things well at once, and it is not effective to feel guilty about it, said Kristy Champignon, LPC, clinical manager of child and adolescent programs at Princeton House Behavioral Health’s outpatient center in Hamilton, N.J. During a recent episode of the Mind on Mental Health podcast, Champignon noted that it would be helpful to change our expectations. It’s not about lowering standards, she said. It’s a matter of adjusting them.
“To judge ourselves or weigh our value or weigh our success by how things used to be is no longer fair,” said Champignon.
Hosted by Andy Dean, LCSW, a senior community relations specialist at Princeton House, Mind on Mental Health is a weekly podcast series that strives to meet the community’s greater need for mental health information and support during the pandemic. The episodes feature Dean and other Princeton House professionals delving into topics within their areas of expertise. Episodes are available through Apple, Spotify, Google, and other podcast platforms or at mindonmentalhealth.podbean.com.
“Podcasts seemed like the most accessible way to share information with the community,” Dean said. “I’ve always been very impressed with the knowledge that Princeton House’s clinicians possess, and it has been a blast for me to have these conversations.”
The first three episodes in August featured Dean conversing with Chelsea Mazzara, LCSW, senior primary therapist with Princeton House–Hamilton, about ways that parents can support their children’s mental health during the pandemic. Champignon appeared on the first two episodes in September to discuss how parents can promote their own mental health.
Champignon and Dean explored topics such as celebrating small victories, finding balance, and the upside — and potential downside — of social media. On one hand, social media is a powerful tool that enables people to stay connected. Yet it can also make parents feel overmatched if they see pictures and posts of people who all seem to be navigating the pandemic better than they are.
An important fact to remember, Champignon said, is that social media photos are curated. They offer a glimpse of a moment, not a complete picture. She recommends maintaining multiple accounts when possible — Instagram allows this — so parents can devote a personal account for connecting with family and friends and a “parent empowerment profile” for following people who present a more realistic account of life during the pandemic that helps parents feel supported and less alone.