Credit: Colin M. Lenton Photography
The 2018 “Top Doctors” issue of Philadelphia magazine hit newsstands last month, and 476 remarkable Penn Medicine physicians were among the region’s best and brightest! A handful of clinicians were also invited to show off their “hearts and minds” and tap into conversations surrounding identity and medicine, such as the longtime deprivation of organ transplants for people of color, and the practice of medicine in the midst of uncomfortable #MeToo moments. One of the published personal essays was written by PAH’s own Adriana Castro-Convers, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Hall-Mercer Community Behavioral Health Center.
In the candid, self-affirming essay, Castro-Convers describes her “incredible journey” towards genuine self-acceptance and self-expression as she came to terms with her transgender identity. She writes that while she has long been dedicated to supporting the mental health needs of the LGBTQIA+ community through her private practice, as she listened to her trans patients’ stories and helped them navigate their often overwhelming, but validating transition processes, Castro-Convers “realized that the gay male identity I had claimed didn’t adequately capture the essence of who I am. A wave of discontent swept over me, and I began to feel like I wasn’t being authentic. I began to feel like a fraud.”
Over the past year, Castro-Convers has been exposed to both her “worst fears” and “the best of human compassion,” but more surprising was the clear impact that her transition had on her interactions with patients. Aside from developing a deeper understanding of her trans patients’ needs, Castro-Convers has become acutely aware of how her transition seems to have encouraged patients to more readily share their own thoughts, feeling, and stories.
“In the essay, I try to convey how the process of shifting from openly trans socially to also openly trans professionally informed my practice and my interactions with patients,” she said. “Sometimes I struggle with the differences and the nuances in what patients disclose and in the conversations we have now versus prior to my transition. There’s like a newly granted access attached to my gender identity.”
Perhaps there is an element of comfort and trust associated with women that has contributed to these subtle changes, or perhaps being open about her own vulnerability and her desire for authenticity and has drawn the same out from her patients. Either way, after continuing her coming out process with them, she was surprised to find that approximately 95 percent of her patients reacted with empathy and acceptance to her disclosure and continued meeting with her without issue. This overwhelmingly positive reception was also echoed by her coworkers.
“I also really want to give kudos to the staff because they have been nothing but supportive during my transition,” Castro-Convers said. “They have been part of this journey along with me, and so in a way, this article is partly for them.”
Read Castro-Convers’ essay in its entirety on PhillyMag.com